The Grandfather Will NOT Be Potato Salad - Enemy Slime
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The Grandfather Will NOT Be Potato Salad

Looks Like A Potato, But Not A Potato

News

The talented swamp coder Michael Patrick Rogers comes to us from the realm of Kickstarter with more than a game, more than a request for money, but an appeal to the sensibilities and honor of the Fundernet.

Clearly upset about the shenanigans of the Potato Salad Kickstarter, which we can neither confirm nor deny for deliciousness, the Builder from Baton Rouge has come seeking restored respect for all involved in the crowdfunding process.

The Grandfather, a pretty fuckin depressing game that I’ll probably play just to look like I’m deep, will be etched and colored across the screen in the form of a comic book, offering a game experience that delves into a darker, sullen well of game design.

What I want to know is how potato salads will factor into the game.

According to Michael “Dirty Rice” Rogers, the game follows an old man who is “tormented by the coldness of his wife” amidst a hauntingly abrasive soundtrack. Is she not making potato salad? Does she know how? Did The Grandfather ask nicely?

I can see potato salad playing a very central theme in the game. Although a beloved side dish at many family gatherings, especially in the South, potato salad can be cold and off-putting.

A potato salad can be warm, inviting and full of zest for a Sunday lunch, but what of the midnight snack plate as the hours go on and the dread of Monday comes near?

That cold, chilling, gritty feeling against your tongue as the binding flavors between the chunks of potato begin to coagulate, twisting and turning into a bittersweet memory of potato salads past, the present wrenching you back to a reality where nothing is certain, everything is bland, and you simply have to choke down every bite of life just to live another day.

Will old man have a loving taste of potato salad before the end of his days, or will he simply chew to the grave with the fading flavors of potato salads of his youth teasing the depths of his mind and soul?

You travel to deep places, Rogers. Your hand reaches to the back of all our refrigerators.